(viathatoneguy)

#5. Kikkan went to Hawaii and “rested” by riding up volcanos surfing and generally continuing to crush it. Here’s some footage of Kikkan surfing the wave the killed Patrick Swayze in Point Break:

This also took place:

#4. Pete Vordenberg called it quits.  Pete brought a lot to the ski team. He brought a lot to ski culture in the US. Furthermore, he played other sports with various coaches. To honor Pete, we’ve got some footage of his last basketball game against some other coaches:

#3. President Obama made some very small mention of skis. 

#2 The invariable coach / athlete shuffle.

- Gus Kaeding to Stratton’s new program.

- Corkdog to USST (Igor to head at CXC)

- Diggins to Stratton (Also the A Team)

- Brooks to USST (Also APU still)

- Simi to the A team.

- A bunch of people to the Craftsbury Green team.

#1.

About 100 gazillion different humorous funny pseudo ski related websites popped up.

There’s this twitter feed.
And this one.

There’s this tumblr.

One thing with all of these: everytime one popped up, we’d get another email thanking us for starting another funny site. This is super flattering to the intrepid team here at Johnny Klister.com because clearly, we are the only funny website in the ski world, but it is super insulting to the ski world because what I just typed back there in italics is clearly not true. (Notice the use of bold type face for emphasis.)  Look, there are a lot of funny people out there. There are a lot of nerds who like the internet. The ski scene is big enough for all of them.

There it is- six weeks of ski news in two posts.

Press play and read on:

#10. Alpine skier, Lindsey Vonn, didn’t have enough money TO PAY HER TAXES because she spent it all on that extra fabric for her swimsuit bottom:

(newslinkviaFlyingPoint)

#9. Johnny Klister.com received no fewer that four BILLION posts about the stupid Junior Nationals dance. Emails from parents appalled. Emails from coaches appalled. Emails from athletes showing things that were appalling. The USSA congress, led Rick Kapala (pictured here), attempted to create a strategy to combat the absurdity (pictured here.)

In summary – JUNIORS: STOP GRINDING ON EACH OTHER. WHEN YOU DO IT, YOU LOOK STUPID.

(You don’t ever see Kikkan grinding on people. Do you??!!  Be like Kikkan.)

Here’s some footage from next year’s Junior Nationals dance in 2013. Get ready. Seriously.

(viacorkdog)

#8. Spring series happened, which may not seem like a big deal except for the fact that the Craftsbury Crew MANUFACTURED SNOW FROM THE GHOSTS OF THE 1983 PROGRESSIVE ROCK BAND YES.

(Strong work, Schultzy.)

#7. Skyler Davis used up all of twitter’s hashtags. There are literally none left. (Take that Ashton Kutcher. Good luck, Lady Gaga.)

#yessir #getitdone  #lifeontheroad #toughmudder #Bruins #letsgo #GYM #SMS #Vermont #Stratton #Chipotle #BTV

#6. Kris Freeman actually learned how to fly. Here’s a shot of him rescuing a hipster from an evil tattoo parlor. 

#5 Russian Crows are speaking to us in code. It says:

Skiing is filled with joy.

 (viabmac)

Stay tuned for the next five…..

(pre order HERE.)

(viathemanbehindtheman)