The Johnny5: Zach Caldwell
The Johnny5 represents the people that changed things for skiing in the US in the last year. You wouldn’t know it from the endless whining that consumes us in the Spring, but this WAS a solid year for American Skiing. (Capitalized for a reason.) That didn’t come by accident. So here they are in no particular order the (roughly) five folks that pushed change in 08 / 09. We’ll do one a day for the week. We’ll also include some tidbits at the end of the Johnny5 from the nominations that are sure to entertain. Stay tuned.
Zach Caldwell confounds. He frustrates, cajoles, annoys, disects and interprets. One could point at the blog Zach Caldwell has kept on behalf of Kris Freeman for the last couple years and count the “if’s” “almosts” and “so close”. One could also get frustrated that Zach is responsible for every mediocre skier from Bend to Bethel demanding a full quiver of 610s shod with ZR1’s, Q13s and YRMOM69s. (Apologies to Molly Holt.) To be honest, there may only be five or six people that can actually understand most of the things that come out of Zach Caldwell’s mouth when he’s waxing poetic on ski polemic. (Rumor is that when he took on a partnership, Nathan Schultz received a secret decoder ring that allowed him to actually grasp what the f-ck Zach is saying at all times.) Yet, to know Zach is to know that he’s captured by the sport in a way that most of us could only posture, which is to say, Zach is really afflicted. Zach writes descriptions of the minute misses that block Kris Freeman’s path to world cup domination because unlike a lot of people, Zach can see them. He gives people access to the highest levels of ski prep because he knows that skiing on those types of skis is much more pleasant. While a love of the game isn’t the precursor to landing a spot in the Johnny5, it is likely the motivation for the other bits and pieces that Zach has offerred up that made him the most nominated person to the list. So what’s he done?
1. There’s the aforementioned ubiquitous ski service coverage of every skier in the US. FakeFasterSkier, the online shaman, described Zach as “ski Jesus” Face it, in the US, before Zach Caldwell, grinds only happened on skateboards, and at the Junior National mixer. (Apologies to FFS)
2. ZC has elite American skiers believing. Refer back to the Johnny Klister post on the curse and realize this is a big deal. Whether it’s bravado or too much time sucking flourocarbons, Zach proceeds with very little doubt. In a recent Newsweek interview President Obama explained his leadership, “I’m going to make mistakes, but I’m going to keep going forward. I’m not going to spin my wheels with indecision.” Barry learned that from Zach.
3. Ski companies are calling him for advice. Not long ago the US team used to wax their own baselayers after consulting a magic 8 ball. Now, in addition to a staff that’s working towards better service by never sleeping, they’ve got ZC living like Osama Bin Laden in a cave at the 2010 Olympic venue kicking out the online equivalent of homemade videos every now and then. Guess what? It will be harries. Guess what else, it will be some bizarre version of harries that will be modeled after Kris Freeman’s tears and since Bird has only shed one tear and Zach has it in a glass case in the lab, there’s a good chance, US skis will have kick on the classic days in Canada. BONUS deed for ZC: He had to leave Vermont. This is akin to losing an organ for a guy like Caldwell. Who else has donated organs for US skiing?
4. Zach Caldwell made us believe that Nathan Schultz actually exists. (Have you ever actually seen them in the same room together? ) Let’s face it, Zach’s background is ski geek. This mythical Schultz character seems a bit of an endurance hero. It is awfully convenient that Schultz just happened to open a retail shop in Boulder when Zach moved to “Canada.” And all of you suckers just sent in your money….
5. By not apologizing for who he is, what he does and doesn’t know, and by burying himself in the job, Caldwell is setting an example. There’s been a controversy about the All In / All Out motto of the US team. Zach goes All In & All Out for skiing and he can tell you the exact pressure distribution, oxidative stress, micro structure and extreme saturation of each movement.
Don’t be surprised if you see Zach or Nathan on this list again next year.
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